Hattrick - Review

oh ok...so the trick was to release the movie amidst all the World Cup hype n get the masses to flock the theatres.Thankfully, I was not duped into that. But then we found the DVD n decided to give it a shot. With our cricket players shaming us, we thought this would be some respite… but !!!!! The movie revolves around 03 characters who share a common love for cricket. Danny is an ex-cricketer who now teaches young boys the nuances of the game. Cricket is life for him, he is ready to go without food, “cricket hi mera khaana hai, yahi meri zindagi hai”. Good, india’s food problem little bit solved. While teaching at the academy experiences severe pain in the stomach n is hospitalized. The doctor there, Nana Patekar, diagnoses him with kidney failure and puts him on a strict routine. Nana as usual has a problem with all good things in life. So TV, radio, smiles, walks, everything in the hospital is banned. But the problem is Danny cant survive without watching cricket n its WC time, so he devises all methods of secretly getting a pair of binoculars, thru Nana’s son, who is a fan of the ex-cricketer and watches the TV in the house on the opposite lane.All patients n staff now secretly enjoy cricket.When Nana finds out, he takes away everything and sets a date for operating on Danny.The date is a day before the finals n as India is in the finals (hahaha), he wants the operation to be delayed. Nothing can convince him, as cricket is his life force n if he is allowed to watch cricket, he will survive! Wonder why we haven’t been able to come up with treatments for kidney failure, that do not involve operating.Danny is here to show us the way.Nana decides to fool Danny.He decks up the hospital n the staff wears cricket T-shirts,newspapers are printed with the wrong date n the made up story of the final match taking place.Nana even gets in touch with Harsha Bhogle who sends them a specially made CD thru FedEx,ehich has been edited in a way t make it look like a real match.India wins the so-called match n Danny is operated upon.Of course, he survives, what else.And Nana now sports a smile n whistles as well,coz he has learnt a new way of life from Danny.
Paresh Rawal, who lives with his wife n teenaged daughter in England, is a janitor at the airport n is waiting to get a British citizenship for the last 14 years. He also happens to have a love for the game of cricket.But he is too ashamed to let his Brit-Indian friends know that he is a janitor.So he tells them that he is the immigration officer at the airport.The sole aim in his life is to get an English citizenship, so he tears down all posters of cricketers in his house n instead puts up The Queen n other English players on the wall.He resents the racist English treatment towards browns n blacks but still his aim in life doesn’t change.When he is insulted by the English officer at the Consulate, he dresses up in a hat n dress all made up of the English flag n makes a fool of himself, just so he will be granted a citizenhip.He tells the official that he will wear such costumes everyday if need be.Such is his need of the phoren citizenship.I wish Mr. Milan had decided this to be the aim of his own life, we wouldn’t have had to suffer this movie in that case.At a sports bar,he cheers the Indians in their match against England n is spotted by the same officer.But it’s a Bollywood flick n the officer all of a sudden realizes that he had a change of heart n grants him the much awaited citizenship.
Kunal Kapoor is a young Punjabi who ties the know with his sweetheart Rimi Sen. He is crazy about the game n his favourite cricketer is Dhoni.On his wedding day, he switches on the TV n the entire night is spent watching the cricket match.In the morning his mother asks the daughter-in-law what all did her son do at night.WOW!!! Quite a modern mom-in-law this one.”Bol na mere betey ne kya shaitaani ki”….aaarghhh !!!! puhleeeees Milan !! Rimi tells her n the lady describes her own wedding night, which was similar to this.Now Rimi decides that she will make her husband get rid of this cricket fever.She watches a match with him n in the first match itself becomes a fan of Dhoni.So much so that she calls out his name while in bed with her husband,she hears strange voices in her head shouting “Dhoni Dhoni” while she is in the bath tub with her husband.Ok fine,you may like him, but the first match you see n u fantasize about DHONI ????? aahhhhh please!!!! There is tension between the couple,he confronts the wife n she says its not her fault,she loves her husband but is a fan of Dhoni n its Kunal who made her watch a game so its his fault.She decides she cant live in this house anymore n leaves.Kunal has a brainwave n decides to arrive as a stripper at one of Rimi’s friends’ parties which she has organized.Of course she is an Indian biwi n cant tolerate her husband stripping in front of others.This means that she still loves her n Kunal also loves her n so now they decide to live happily ever after.
PHEW!!!! This was the story. Now if anyone can make sense out of what exactly Milan wanted to portray here, please do let me know as well. I am still stumped!!!

Kabul Express - review

Well its common understanding that whichever Bollywood movie isn’t hyped or has the glossy premieres n is given a star treatment is actually the movie to watch out for.One of the main attractions for me to watch Kabul Express was of course John Abraham.Plus the fact that I love documentaries, also added to the same.To project a sensitive subject like this, its required that the film doesnt turn into a preach saga or a commentary of whats happening. Surprisingly, the movie comes from the commercialized YashRaj banner, wonder why they don’t think of doing such sensible cinema most of the time.It also marks the debut of writer director Kabir Khan. The background score by Raghav Sanchar complements the feel of the movie, the typical accent n the way in which the Afghani people speak hindi is very sweet n real.The movie
starts with 02 war journalists going to Kabul to cover the post-war destruction. Suhel Khan (John Abraham) n Jai Kapoor (Arshad Warsi), are there in the middle of all the gun n the bullets, to shoot a story that will bring them accolades back home in India. War has destroyed everything. Smiling children with amputated legs n arms, women begging everywhere for food n money, as they don’t have a husband, a father or a male relation to go to. Young men with rifles, who do not hesitate to pull the trigger over trivial issues. People who were once friendly n warm, but now have no choice but to be suspicious of each other and always be ready to kill. Even in the midst of all this shooting n fear, the 02 journos manage to have their sense of humor and witty liners intact, which is desi and very natural. Khyber (Hanif Hum Ghum) is their guide n driver, who takes them to meet the Taliban soldier, or the “militant”, as the world largely believes. But its bad luck for the duo as they just miss the Taliban n fear their journalist career will now mean shooting pot bellied politicians in India. As they return to their car, Kabul Express, all fear is set loose by the sight of the Taliban soldier Imran Khan Afridi (Salman Shahid), who is now settled in the back seat of the car, with an AK-47 comfortably aimed at the terrified occupants. He instructs them to drive him safely to the border n assures them that as long as they don’t try to be smart with him, they’ve nothing to fear. John is practical n calm, while Arshad is jumpy n impulsive. The story continues as the car moves along toward the border n the 04 men have no one to talk to except one another. One of the most realistic aspect of this movie is the way it shows the bonding between 04 complete strangers, all coming from different backgrounds. The men share their habit of smoking cigarettes. Each time Arshad lights one, the Talibani also asks for a “Hindustani cigarette”, much to Arshad’s irritation and John’s amusement. They share a love for music. As the old radio plays an old Hindi filmy number “main zindagi ka saath nibhaata chala gaya”, everyone joins in the melody. They share a common sense of fear. The Talibani faces the fear of being killed by the Afghanis or the Americans, while the other 03 fear they will be killed by the Talibani. Jessica Bekham (Linda Arsenio) is an American journalist working for Reuters, who is a war pro n runs into the most dangerous areas, just to get a great story. It is only near the end of the movie that we get a glimpse into her real purpose, that of trying to tell the people in power , through her war documentaries, that its high time we stop pitying n debating over the fate of such countries n really get down to help them to re-settle. The Talibani is a Pakistani Army soldier, whos been posted in Afghanistan for more than 06 years. In obeying the orders of the High Commission, hes been labeled as a Talibani. Imran doesnt agree to the Talibani idea of forcing religion on people n committing atrocities on women n children, but orders from higher authorities in the army have forced him to be labeled as one of the Talibani militants. We feel his deep love for his daughter, who has refused to see her Talibani father in the last 06 years. His only wish now is to have a glimpse of his daughter, to know that she is well and then go back to his home in Pakistan. The journalists help him meet his daughter n tears of love n gratitude run down his cheeks as he bids her a silent n distant farewell n heads for his country. While on their way towards the border between Pakistan n Afghanistan, soldiers arrive n try to shoot down Imran. But John n Arshad help him escape by engaging the soldiers in firing. Its tough for Imran as he has to trust the 02 Indians n hand over his gun to them. John n Arshad give him a pack of the Hindustani cigarettes as a parting gift from India n wish him luck. As Imran nears the border to Pakistan, the Army refuses to acknowledge its own man. The official orders the soldiers to shoot him, though the latter are sure he is a Pakistani n is only returning home. But the officer needs to be politically correct, humanity features nowhere on his list of priorities. As we sit and hope that now Imran will finally be able to go back to his loved ones in his own country, he is riddled with bullets. The last shot of the movie shows his body falling in the water, the cigarette case n the picture of his daughter slipping away from his hands. I could not help the tear from trickling down my eye. The sense of loss, the sense of destruction, the sense of barbarism n cruelty inflicted by the so-called “civilized” n “powerful” nations of the world is portrayed in a mature n sensible way in the movie. The political wars n diplomatic farce of these countries is evident here in abundance. Physical boundaries dont separate us. We are all the same at heart, we feel the same emotions, fear the same fears, share the same smiles n tears. Its rather these so-called politicians who govern us, people we choose to give us our share of freedom n happiness, the same people who choose to give us boundaries in the name of guarding us, rules in the name of keeping us safe n bullets and guns in the name of protecting us. Just wondering, did we really manage to be civilized in the 21st century?